and with a subject, comes a thought.

In the most frank of terms, I have been very lazy in the upkeep of this blog. There have been multiple time where I’ve said to myself, “Gee, that would be a great subject to write about,” and then neglect to do so. To the very few readers of this blog, I am sincerely apologetic. And as such, I feel a duty to write atleast once a month. That is not a promise, as life does tend to get complicated, but I will try to write for your reading pleasure.

With that said, life has been an incredible joy as of late. Trips have been taken, things have been learned, people have been met, decisions have been made, and so on. And you, faithful reader, have not been forgotten. For that reason, I write to you with a sincere… word, that I will attempt to write more often on this blog that I have created. I started this monster, and now, I must upkeep it! Thanks for not posting impatient comments. It has been most appreciated (: .

-the changed blog writer.

it just… clicked.

doing my devo is something that i love to do. i look forward to it, and i strive to get it done every night. usually though, my devo is prefaced with a long talk to God. a few nights ago, the conversation went a little something like this:

“hey Daddy. so i was wondering about this, and i thought, you know, maybe you’d show me what i need to know. put me in the right direction?”

“well, if I told you now, would you keep asking Me about it?”

“pffttt yeah. duhh. ok. maybe not so much. but please i really want to know!”

“so you’re asking Me to tell you now, because a) you’re impatient, which i ask you not to be, and b) because you don’t trust Me with what I have planned out for you. did I get that right?”

“well… when you put it that way… you know what? just show me something now please, because i won’t be able to sleep if i don’t get an answer.”

so in my frustration, i opened up my bible. and lo and behold, Psalm 27:14 jumped out and grabbed my brain. it reads, “Wait on the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait on the Lord.” it could not have gotten any clearer than that. defeated, i muttered my thanks and good night and felt Him smiling the whole time i tried to get back to sleep.

the next day i spent repeating the verse to myself. and then towards the end of the day, i felt really discouraged. i still wanted to know the answer. and so the conversation continued:

“so, uh, Dad… have You changed Your mind?”

“about telling you? no, I haven’t. and I told you what to do already. trust Me, you won’t be able to handle it yet.”

“won’t be able to handle it?! well, thanks for the confidence there. and about what You told me, i don’t know if i can do that! its so hard!”

again, in frustration, i opened my bible. and Psalm 28:7 captured my attention. “The Lord is my strength and my shield.” a simple verse. but what followed is what i wanted to share.

see, God calls us all to “be strong and take heart and wait on [Him]“, but we can’t do that on our own strength. we have to do that in His strength. like Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:10 “for when I am weak, He is strong”, when we can’t do anything, which is pretty much all the time, God will be the One to helps us bear everything, do everything, achieve everything. its a humbling prospect to know that the only way for His will to be accomplished is for me to (its cliché, but it works) “let go and let God”.

Christianity is not a religion. its a relationship. its not for the weak. rather, its for those strong enough to admit that they’re dependent on their Creator.

not earned. bought.

Its almost amazing to me how some people think that the freedom we have in this country is deserved. Like we did anything to earn our freedom, like we have the right to freedom because we are such incredible people.

I don’t know if anyone’s realized this, but our freedom was not earned. It was bought at the price of millions of lives, millions of dollars, millions of minutes fighting against an oppressive enemy. That doesn’t give us the right to freedom. On the contrary, we should be even more appreciative of our freedom because of the sacrifice it’s cost.

With that said, I thank all the military in this country. The Navy, the Air Force, the Marines, the Army, and the Coast Guard. Thank you for all you do for this country. Thank you for being such valiant and brave soldiers. Thank you for protecting my freedom at your expense, and at the expense of your families. And with that, thanks to all the military families who are dealing with someone gone because of the war. Your sacrifice is appreciated so much.

I wish I could convince some people to think the same way. To know that none of our freedom is deserved or earned. And rather than criticize the past mistakes of any presidential administration, we should thank our military for being brave enough to do what none of us is willing to do: risk our lives for the well being of this country, the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.

In Due Time.

Patience is a virtue.

A virtue that I happen to lack. Its one of those characteristics that you find few and far between; I mean the really patient people. They always see to find something productive to do, or keep someone else entertained. They seem to be in control of their time,. And that’s another thing. Time. Patience and time are pretty much inseparable. You wouldn’t have to be patient, if time did not exist. They are in a mutual relationship, backing one another up on all fronts.

Its funny how society always wants the latest gadget, wants to be in on the latest fashions. As if they are trying to keep up with time. Hmm. What a concept. You see, time is continuous. It is always moving forward. It can never be pushed back. My chemistry teacher always says, “If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late.” Its the common currency in the laborious lives of the human species. 

Remember how I said that society loves to keep up-to-second with all the latest news, equipment, fashions, etc? Well how about waiting for “The One”? How about waiting for the ok from your parents to go to that party? How about waiting for your 16th birthday to get your license? It seems to me that our lives consist of waiting for everything. And as we encounter time, we encounter the need for patience.

Looking forward to things like this isn’t bad. Its the desire to speed everything up that makes it an insurmountable obstacle in the midst of responsibilities. The point is, if we spend our lives waiting and wishing that this would come faster or that it would be that day, we miss what’s important: today. Responsibilities and opportunities stand in front of us and sometimes we’re so busy wishing for tomorrow that we don’t see some small thing that may be put in our way just to make us smile. We miss being a joy in other people’s lives because we’re so busy whining about how “friday won’t come fast enough”. Am I guilty of this? As much as the next person is. But I’ve come to realize that worrying about something in the future won’t make a difference and won’t make the time go any faster. Everything was already set in motion, and will arrive at just the right time.

Like the old saying goes, the watched pot never boils. So round up all the rest of the ingredients to get the dish going. Just flick your eyes toward the pot every once in a while; you’ll be excited when you see the first few bubbles start to penetrate the surface.

Mistakes

Mistakes. Flaws. Imperfections.

Mistakes are often categorized and labeled negatively. They’re looked down on because of their accidental nature. I think we, as humans, want to be without flaw and imperfection. That’s why we worry about everything little thing we do. Its what drives us to try self-help solutions, get that surgery, say “just kidding” after saying something incredibly stupid. Its what makes us feel embarrassed, insecure and not “good enough” for anything or anyone.

Ever felt like that? Like you’re useless in the world? Like you’re not special enough to do anything important? Have you ever thought that maybe fear is getting in the way of that important thing you need to do? Everyone’s heard the quote: “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” And how true that is.

You see, our want, our obsession, to be perfect gets in the way sometimes. It keeps us fearing that we might make the wrong decision. Its a leash that’s tying us to down. A cannonball that’s keeping us under. Making a mistake isn’t a bad thing. Mistakes keep us humble. They force us to learn that we’re not the best thing out there, that we’re not better than everyone else. They keep us striving to seek advice on any decision we have to make. What people don’t realize is that most mistakes can be fixed, and fixed for the better. Everyone worries that their mistake will cost them a lot more than what they bargained for.

Is that true? It can be. But then the question is this: how can the potential mistake be avoided, and will you have the humility to seek advice in order to avoid negative consequences to your actions.

Listen to advice and accept instruction; then you will be wise.

The Sidelines

In the several months that I haven’t written in this blog, I’ve learned a few things. My favorite I’ve decided to openly share here. Maybe this insight will apply to you. With that, I commence.

Everyone talks about living for today and being actively part of life. I’ve heard it said that we should not stand on the sidelines; we should always be in the game. However, I’ve discovered that standing on the sidelines is not always a bad thing. In fact, it is sometimes necessary. As passive as that sounds, think of it this way.

In football, everyone commends and cheers for the players who are always in the action on the field handling the ball or defending the team. As I mentioned before, many tend to view life in the same way. They must be in the game to have fun. But what about the coach? You never see him on the field with the ball. No. The coach is watching, learning the mistakes and weaknesses of his team in order to help keep them from doing it again. He provides direction and spirit for the team. He keeps them disciplined, in line with his vision of one day winning.

In the same way, sometimes we need to take off our helmets, step back and just observe. Watch people make mistakes and learn from them. In that way, we can prevent some poor soul from making the same mistake that we or someone else has made. Being on the sidelines does not equate to being passive. On the contrary, it is actively observing and storing information, learning lessons and processing the consequences in order to then actively prevent and correct the same ones later.

left out.

sometimes i go through the list of people that i know. just in my head, by myself. i scroll through the hundreds of people i’ve known, and the few that are continually part of my life.

 

i’ve realized the title of “friend” is not to be taken lightly. and for right now, there are a very few and limited number of people who have earned that title in my book.

 

those who are REALLY always there for me. those who i know pray for me. those who i know can depend on. those who include me in things even if they already know the answer. those who i truly and sincerely love no matter what.

 

to those that fit that description, thanks from the bottom of my heart. i love you. truly, i do.

A Poem For Your Thoughts

I continue this blog with a different sort of post. A poem I’ve written entitled “Time”. As you will be able to tell by the poem, I’ve realized that time is taken for granted and it can be a blessing or a curse. Its a currency we all have the same amount of. Whether we “invest or squander”* is the choice we alone can make.

something to complain about,
something we lack, 
something we want more of, 
something we want back.

something that speeds up, 
something that’s slow,
something that lingers, 
something that flows.

something we all have, 
something we share, 
something we don’t always spend
wisely or with care.

something to kill, 
something to use, 
something that keeps the world together,
in tune.

something that endures, 
something that heals,
something that flies, 
something that steals.

something that’s constant, 
something that teaches, 
something that continues, 
time never ceases.

*from “Life Means So Much” by Chris Rice

This poem is dedicated to Mrs Marianne Kjos who, though in my life for a brief year and a half, was of great influence. Thanks for keeping me alive in Coral Reef. I miss you. 

Trapped: Diary of a Receptionist

Spending time with a receptionist friend of mine made me think. How boring would it be “working” the whole day when your work consists of sitting at a computer and waiting for the phone to ring? The time passes so slowly when you’re bored. You feel like pulling out your hair.

Just think with me for a second. Put yourself in this poor victim’s shoes. All the other employees are on retreats and vacations so you’re left with no work. And yet, you can’t go home. What kind of torture is this?! This world is coming to such abnormal terms with the definition of a secretary.

So you decide to finally get up. And once you get up, the phone starts to ring off the hook. And then you decide to sit at the phone and wait… 30 minutes… 1 hour goes by and nothing. And right when you have to get up and pee, it starts to ring again and 6 inconsiderate callers decide to stop you from going through your daily bodily functions. You start to get angry at these callers. You try to compose yourself by breathing in and out slowly, but you start talking while grinding your teeth together.

The point is, receptionists are pretty much under appreciated. They have to have incredible patience. They have to have stamina, endurance, strength. So next time you think of a summer job as a receptionist, think again.

Naturally Symbolic

Its awesome when you get a day off of everything and decide to go to the beach. Just spend the whole day there. It has these amazing qualities that just make you think. About nothing. About something. It reminds you constantly about the happiest moments of your life. It makes you reflect on things that went wrong but ended up being exactly what you needed.

The beach has so many components that I stand completely in awe of. Its amazing to watch the sun, whether rising or setting. Its always there, always faithful. It continues to rise and set everyday without end. It gives you the sense that everything is ok with the world.

Even the water. The constant tide pushing and pulling little objects that have been washed up a million times over. Its sound is soothing, and its cool temperature contrasts perfectly with the sun’s rays. It talks incessantly, hardly pausing for a breath, and impatient to say what it needs to.

Its so cool to find a really smooth rock on the beach. As insignificant as it is, you pick it up because of its smoothness. And what has caused it? The continual beating of the water and sand against it, until it becomes the end product that you pick up because it seems special.

The beach just has a healing effect. I don’t know what it is, but you always feel clean after you leave. It drains you of strength in a good way and drains you of negative emotions that you feel. Its an escape. A place to just hang out and talk to God.

I think God made the beach the way He did because of the way it reminds us of Him. His apparent faithfulness. His unending mercy, grace and love. His peace. Everything at the beach is a natural symbol that points upward to the Maker of it all. Its just naturally symbolic.

And I think we should be too.
Acts 4:13